So my boys have their flaws. Lord, Lord, do they ever. However, it might surprise you to learn they have some decent characteristics, too. One of which is their ability to interact with the opposite sex in a fairly healthy manner. Not to pat myself on the back, but I think I have played a large part in this. So let me share with you my suggestions for successfully raising girl-friendly boys.
1) Make sure your boys are comfortable around tampons. Preferably still-packaged ones, please! For the younger set, just having the box in plain sight is enough. Once they are driving, there is no reason they can’t go buy them for you. If you do try this, be sure to have them purchase a few innocuous items, as well. After all, your goal is to desensitize them, not completely humiliate them. I tried this last weekend and my boys didn’t blink an eye when they saw tampons on the list. That’s more than I can say for most husbands.
2) Expose them to chick flicks and soaps. This can be tricky. Do not force them to actually watch. However, having General Hospital on the TV, as sort of background noise, will probably be enough to make them subliminally want Luke to finally settle down with Laura (once she is out of her catatonic state, of course).
3) Make sure your boys have at least one good female friend. This is one you have to start early, before they get to the cootie-fearing stage. I remember Moody’s very first friend was a girl. In fact, they would have sleepovers, which as toddlers, was perfectly acceptable. Better than at 16, that’s for sure!
4) Get them used to apologizing. This is key. They’ll need to perfect their technique by the time they’re in their first relationship.
5) Insist that your husband pamper you. This is the best way for your boys to see for themselves how a girl should be treated. You should have no problem recruiting your husband, because, after all, doesn’t he want your boys to grow up to be respectful and loving men? Of course he does! For beginners, I’d recommend starting with the nightly foot rub.
{ 36 comments }
Very good points! I will have to start applying them. Hopefully its not to late for my 10 soon to be 11 yr old.
Excellent points, especially #5. My FIL doesn't do much for my MIL, so I'm starting from scratch.
He did surprise me with flowers the other night, which is totally awesome. Especially when Youngest walked up the next morning and handed me all of his Lego flowers "for you Mama."
True story.
I cried for five minutes.
The best thing a Father can teach his children is that he loves their mother.
i think my late mother knew of these 5 rules….out of my 4 brothers….i know for a fact…that 3 of them have purchased tampons for their girlfriends/wives!!!! wow! i need to start introducing these techniques to my 5 yr old son!
thanks for the advice!!
(you crack me up!)
I have a TP cozy I can send you!
Great rules…
I too have a 16 y/o son who relates well to girls… (helps that he is a great looking kid) another key skill I am teaching him is how to do his own laundry should he need to- his future wife will thank me one day….
We have it all wrong at our house with item #5. Just the other night Hubs was watching The Bachelor with me, but it was I giving him the foot massage for like an hour.
(but well, ok, he did scrub the kitchen and dining room floor on his hands and knees that morning on his day off while I was at an office).
I wonder how many of those my mom used on me…
I do know that my grandparents used to watch General Hospital and I was visiting them during the first Luke and Laura episodes, so I guess I know what you mean by that.
My oldest grew up hanging out with girls. All of my neighborhood friends had girls his same age and they all went off to kindergarten together. Once there, he did start hanging with some boys, but at least every couple of weeks, we had a school friend over – a girl – for a playdate. He still gets along with girls. The other two? Well, they are both good at foot massages.
Sounds good to me. I'll have to remember that having 2 boys. My husband needs to work on #1. I came home with like 7 bags of groceries and tampons were in one of them. He was unpacking them and said, "Ewwww yuck!" I thought something leeked or spilled in one of the bags. Here he was grossed out over a box of tampons.
So are you saying I should stop calling my Always pads "diapers"?
: )
Can't I just send my boy to you for like a boot camp or soemthing?
Great advice! I always drilled into C's head how I would want the perfect man to be. And tonight he was telling me how he was appologizing to his Girlfriend, even though he knew it wasnt his fault. Good job C!!
and good job Deb!!
#1 cracked me up. But it's so true. Both my boys already know about tampons. And they both have always been friends with girls. Never went through that eeew girls are gross phase. They like the smart nice girls. And the girls like them cause they're just so darn nice and adorable.
I'm a lucky mama
Nice post!
I told my boy today that I thought he looked hawt.
He was not happy.
Wow, this is advanced. We're still working on TOILET SEAT issues. And yes, I am yelling. And nagging!
LOVE the post being a mom of a boy and a girl I have to balance how to teach both of them.
Love the tampon thing just made the hubs pick some up the other day:) he hated me for it btw. Maybe I should start working the son now after all he is 7 so that gives me about 9yrs before he is a driver!
I have them all covered but #5! Do you have any tips for that?
I'm all over #4 and #5. You don't think its too late since mine are 21 and 25 do you? Say it isn't so!!
I hope my son will be good to his future significant others. For now, he's a very sensitive kid and I think that could be good for his future relationships. And he has an excellent teacher on how to treat woman with my husband.
Such an awesome post!
Your boys are better than I am. I have been buying pads for years and still get a small wave of embarrassment putting them into my shopping cart. So sad.
Sounds like they are well on their way to becoming gentlemen. How nice!
Some lucky girls will appreciate them some day!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh, how you have this list down pat. I think I'm breaking my teens in pretty good. If not one day I can just help my daughter in laws beat them up:)
I got most of these down… except since I'm on the IUD no need for tampons (THANK THE LORD!) and there isn't a husband to pamper me (yet!) but the other things? done! Great list!
Hey Deb found your blog from … not really sure, but I think we think alike!
Having 3 boys and 3 girls all interspersed in birth order and ages, well they've had to learn to deal comfortably and courteously with each other's friends.
Yes, apologies are necessary. They've even been caught giving hugs to each other when they thought no parental units were watching.
HeMan Hubby commutes from the Nation's Capital everyday but still finds time to give me a hello kiss and he even brings me flowers on occasion. The boys are getting some good role modeling there!
awesome points, pooh.
aawww…this is sweet!! my little boy was very respectful and considerate of girls/women…always held the door open and such…he was so sweet! i miss him
and…he DID learn it all from his dad!! he is quite a gentlemen…but ssshhh don't tell anyone!!
I used to get foot rubs nightly in front of the TV. Then we had kids. That's a routine I'd love to bring back.
Super post!! Very valid points.
I wanted to thank you for your comment re "parenting experts". I had thought, however, that I had previously commented on this post. I had read it and tried, at least, to comment. Something funny's going on with my Google, I think.
Anyway, I love dana's comment. Great post, Deb.
So far so good….except on the tampon thing. =)
And seriously, it's been a few years since I watched General Hospital, but is Laura STILL in her catatonic state???
You are a genius! You are seriously raising some amazing boys, there, Deb. And you are oh-so-right about the men and tampons thing. My husband would probably be like, "Uh, you're on your own there." I am just SO impressed!
As a mum to three boys, I can so relate to this post and happy to say I've been doing them all along without realising!!
I love this list. My boys are still pretty little, but I tell my husband often that he needs to remember mother's day and valentine's and birthdays, etc for THE BOYS' SAKE. They're watching and learning, right?
Deb, I'm embarrassed to say I think this is my first time here! How on earth have I not been here before? I feel like a fool. But hey – I'm hear now and WILL BE BACK.
-elizabeth
I mean here now, not hear now. You know that, but it drives me nuts, nonetheless….
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